Geeks and MGleeks
by breathlessnightxx
Summary: When JsJ, golden boy of McK High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more of an effect than they thought. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse discovers what it feels like to walk in the shoes of RB.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Yay! My first St. Berry story! I was going to write _Deception At Its Best_ first, but for some reason I just couldn't start it the way I wanted it to be. So while I work on that, I'm writing this one. This one is very angsty and dark (hence the rating), so you have been forewarned. Hope you enjooooyyyy :)

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, attempted rape, suicide, and more.

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: M

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind Chapter: Who Am I To Say by Hope**_

**Geeks and M-Gleeks**

"The walls we build around us to keep

sadness out also keeps out the joy."

-Jim Rohn

* * *

After only one day of being in high school, I had already been labeled as a geek. They took one look at my clothes, hair, and face before casting me aside and ignoring me unless they decided they wanted some _entertainment_. By the time I hit sophomore year, I was the laughingstock of McKinley High. I was slushied every day, had my clothes stolen from my gym locker while I was in the shower, was called a number of crude and degrading names, and was even honored by having someone draw pornographic pictures of me on the wall.

I managed to keep my humiliation and torture from my fathers for my first three years of high school. When they grew suspicious of why I never invited friends over, I would merely brush it off with a casual, "I don't have time for friends if I want to be a star,"—which was true in a sense. Even if I wasn't suffering through all of this, I still wouldn't have many friends, if any at all. My dream was Broadway, and my free time was spent doing vocal exercises, taking dance classes, and picking up several instruments. By the time I was fifteen, my voice was near-perfect, I could both perform and create choreography routines so difficult and fast-paced it would make your head spin, and I could play five different instruments. I took classes during the summer to further cultivate my talent, completely forgoing camp and abandoning any hope of making acquaintances there.

On my first day of junior year, I walked through the doors of McKinley High with my head held high and shoulders pushed back in confidence. I had spent the summer in New York training with some of the best, and I had some self-assurance pumped back into my veins. Instead of hugging the walls like I normally would when walking through the walls, I strode straight through the middle. On the outside, my face was a mask of nonchalance, but on the inside I was smiling, basking in my good fortune that I was already halfway to my locker. It only took forty-six seconds of being a junior to receive my first slushie of the day.

I gasped as the cold drink hit my face, the red dye quickly seeping into my pink shirt and somehow managing to make it towards my white skirt. I blinked slowly a few times before opening my eyes only to see a smirking Jesse St. James, flanked by his three goons.

"Wow Berry, red is a good color on you," he sneered, the three Neanderthals behind him snickering.

"What do you want St. James?" I asked quietly, my posture already somehow timid and my previous confidence completely gone.

"Just wanted to see if training with Kristen Chenoweth over the summer actually salvaged some of that horrid voice yours," he replied, a smirk plastered on his face. I didn't answer, my feet trying to stealthily carry me away from the scene he was making, many onlookers already pointing and laughing at the sticky mess I was in. After only two steps, his hand shot out like lightening, his fingers gripping my wrist tightly.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked dangerously, his voice low and menacing. I gasped in pain, trying to pull my arm free from his grasp.

"Let go," I whispered.

"Why don't you make me?"

I quickly realized how bad the situation was, because no matter how traumatizing past events were or how many pranks they pulled on me, the circumstances never included violence. That status seemed to have changed drastically, especially since I was losing more and more feeling in my hand as the seconds passed.

"Please let go," I pleaded weakly. They all just laughed as he roughly pushed my hand out of his grasp, his motion jostling me and making me fall backwards. All I could see around me were students laughing at me, kids videotaping everything with their phones, teachers walking by and pretending not to see or hear a thing—after all; Jesse St. James was the leader of the school, the golden boy. He was off limits.

I rubbed my wrist, fighting back tears as the pain shot up my arm. The hallway started to clear, class starting in less than five minutes. My morning had gone from cool and confident to teary-eyed and slushied in a matter of minutes. Jesse and the rest of his gang were still laughing as they began walking away with everyone else, leaving me covered in ice and on the floor, before turning around.

"Oh, and Berry," he called. I could see the malicious glare he was throwing at me, the gaze chilling me to the bone and sending fear coursing through my body. "Don't even think of trying out for glee club. Not only would I not want to jeopardize our consecutive three-year national title, but I think you've embarrassed yourself enough. There's no need to torture yourself and everyone else with that voice of yours." Without a single glance backwards, he walked away just as the bell rang. I sat in a heap on the floor, his last words playing like a broken record in my mind.

Of course I had been planning on trying out for New Directions this year. Jesse had been the lead since his and my freshman year, bringing home the National's trophy to McKinley High three years running. He was a hero to everyone, a saint—pun very much intended. The glee club was McKinley's pride and joy, so no one was willing to believe its very core that gave it life was one of the worst people to have ever walked this earth.

The second bell rang signaling I was late for first period on my first day. I got up slowly off the floor, rubbing the tears out of my eyes before looking down at my numb wrist. In disdain I saw bruises already formed on my wrist, their shape looking a lot like fingers. I covered my wrist subconsciously before hurrying to the bathroom, Physics completely forgotten. I changed out of my trashed clothes and washed my face, grumbling in annoyance at the cherry smell that wouldn't fade from my hair. I pulled at the sleeve of my shirt, the material covering the assault marks. I took one final look in the mirror, grimacing at what I saw, before walking back into the halls.

"I can do this," I whispered confidently to myself. "I only have two years left here. I'm going somewhere with my life, they aren't." It was sad that I couldn't even believe those words myself.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, that's the first chapter…I think for this story I'm going to keep the chapters relatively short, averaging on about 1,200-1,900 words per chapter which isn't a lot. I'm going to be keeping Rachel and Jesse extremely OOC throughout the entire story, although you will see a bit of their OCs in their characters later on. Soooo, tell me what you think of the plot so far or guess where I'm taking this story. Or you can talk to me about your insane obsession with JGroff and St. Berry that you KNOW you have, so don't bother denying it (I choose to embrace mine :3). How about this: leave me a review and I'll give you a COOKIE. YUMMM!

**CLICK THE BUTTON.**

**DO IT.**

**DO IT NOW.**

**DO IT TO GET ME TO SHUT UP.**

**YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP.**

**DO IT! :)**

**REVIEW!**

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I'm sorry for the 21 days I was missing :( You know those times where the days are just kinda blurring together and you can't really remember accomplishing anything, but you know you've been super busy? That basically sums up my last three weeks. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for all your reviews, favorites, and alerts! :3

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, attempted rape, suicide, and more.

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: M

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind Chapter: Hey You by Tokio Hotel**_

**Geeks and M-Gleeks**

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through

love and friendship can we create the illusion

for the moment that we're not alone.

-Orson Welles

* * *

I was still reeling from my encounter with Jesse and his posse. My wrist was throbbing and I didn't have the guts to go to the nurse's office. Too many questions would be asked and if answered, my fathers would get involved, and my every-day torment was something I had been trying to keep from them since it all began. They raised a strong, independent woman—or so they thought—not some cowardly misfit who nobody liked.

The halls were empty as I trudged through them, everybody sitting in their first period classes. I was nervously looking around, positive that I would be caught cutting class and would be given detention. I rounded the next corner and was again surprised at the emptiness. I managed to make it all the way to the lunchroom without being seen, and I grabbed some ice from the kitchen. Sighing in bliss at the numbing feeling of the ice, I slipped back out and went to my locker. Now that classes began, I felt safe and secure knowing no one would harass me as I gathered my books together.

I had just slammed the door shut when I heard footsteps coming in my direction. I quickly turned around and saw Mrs. Holsten, the school's vice principal, walking towards me, her head looking down at some papers. I frantically scanned my surroundings looking for anywhere to hide only to realize that I was surrounded by tiny lockers and no closets. I was trapped. I held my breath as she drew near, wondering if at any point she would look up from whatever was holding her interest. When she passed by, I didn't dare move in fear that she would still turn around. Once she turned the corner, I sighed quietly in relief and quickly began walking in the other direction for my physics class.

I was almost in the clear until I tripped and landed on my wrist, letting out a startled cry of pain. I shut my eyes tightly in preparation, hoping nobody heard me only to realize I could hear hurried footsteps in my direction. Mrs. Holsten's worried face came into view which turned to shock as my crumbled form on the floor came into view.

"Ms. Berry, are you alright?" she asked as she hurried towards me. I nodded, my face slightly grimacing in pain as I tried to get up off the floor, gathering my books in the process.

"Here, Dear, let me help you," she said hurriedly and made a grab for my arm to help me up. I tried pulling back, insisting I could get up just fine, but her hand managed to land on my bad wrist and pull me up. I yelped as shooting stabs of pain made their way up my arm and she quickly dropped me again, startled.

"Ms. Berry, what's—" Her voice stopped short when she saw the bruises already formed on my wrist, a clear indicator that they couldn't have appeared from when she tried to pull me up. Her eyes flickered between the bruises and my face, her shocked face and rigid posture sending me a message: she knew. Her face became sympathetic as she gently lifted me again, this time by the elbow, and she helped me grab my books and schoolbag. There was an awkward pause before I broke the silence.

"I really should be getting to class Ms. Holsten; I'm late enough as it is. Mr. Devino is probably already irritated over my absence." I made a move to leave, but she fell into step beside me.

"I'll walk you and tell him you were with me." Her gesture didn't surpass me, and I was irritated at her sweet, yet blatant attempt to try and do something nice for the girl who was obviously having a shit-tastic day. We walked in silence until we reached the doors and I subconsciously made sure my hair was okay and smoothed down my shirt and skirt. Her eyes were calculating every move I made, and they continued to watch me even as she knocked on the door. There was a pause in the teaching on the other side. The door opened to reveal Mr. Devino, his face becoming questioning at my appearance.

"Please excuse Ms. Berry, Rubin. She was with me." A look was exchanged between the two before he curtly nodded and ushered me in.

"Hurry up and take your seat, Rachel, you've already missed half of my lesson. Please get the notes from a friend." (And no, the irony of that statement didn't get passed me either.) I caught a glimpse of Ms. Holsten before the door was closed and Mr. Devino continued his teaching. I walked towards my desk trying to ignore the stares and whispers as I passed. I had almost made it to my desk when I heard someone call my name in a whispered voice.

"Wow Berry, you just can't seem to get anything right, can you?" It was Jesse, and I felt my stomach sink and my heart beat faster when I remembered he sat right behind me in this class. Inwardly cursing myself at my sudden lack of a brain, I looked down again and quickly took my seat. I tried to concentrate on Mr. Devino, but it was hard when you had someone whispering crude words in your ear and throwing spitballs at you. I tried to endure his torments, but after five minutes I recalled why I hated this class. As much as I liked the subject and teacher, I had the worst seat in the room (or rather, the seat every girl in the school wanted aside from me—after all, who wouldn't want to sit in front of him?)

Jesse St. James was in my grade. His talent rivaled mine in the musical department, and his fashion sense made him look gorgeous—although he did tend to wear a lot of black. He was also the captain of the glee club of MK High, aka: New Directions. He was loved by every student, teacher, and parent, was mega rich, got everything he wanted, and had the voice of an angel with a smile to match it. All in all, Jesse St. James was living the life I wanted to live. I didn't go to grade school with him because he used to live in the Carmel district, so the first day of freshman year was the first day I met him.

It only took a couple of suave words to the girls, promises of endless parties and supply of gaming devices to the guys, and a perfect record transferred over to the administration for Jesse St. James to take over. In other words, it took him all of one day. It took me one day to realize I had just committed myself to the pits of hell for the next four years.

I wasn't sure why he targeted me. Maybe I was just an easy target or I had done something to really piss him off that I couldn't recall. Either way, Jesse was out to get me, and I didn't know how much longer I could survive.

* * *

**A/N:** I have a pretty basic idea of where I want this story to go, but suggestions and ideas for chapters are completely welcome. :) This chapter is completely unedited and a bit hurried just because I wanted to get another chapter out, but if you find a mistake just let me know and I'll fix it. Review for a virtual hug from JGroff? :D

**REVIEW TO FEED**

**MY INSANE ADDICTION**

**FOR ST. BERRY AND**

**JONATHAN GROFF. :3**

**REVIEW!**

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: …should I bother explaining my ridiculously long absence? Well, yes, I probably should. See, unfortunately my dad took away my laptop that I keep at my moms, and the one I keep at his place dies after the first two minutes of being unplugged. It's a bitch. So since I can't write during class anymore and my teachers keep dumping an insane amount of work on me, I've been gone for too long. Fortunately, my stress with school has gotten me to the point where I say "screw working" and I'm just going to dedicate my time to FF instead. :) This chapter was really hard to write (as will be the next 10-20 chapters) because I absolutely love Rachel, and I'm so protective of her character on the show, but my story unfortunately deals her a VERY bad hand. Anyways, the beginning of this chapter was super filler-like so I decided to keep going and add a bit of drama on the end. Hope you enjoy!

PS-Thanks so much for all your reviews guys! They're amazing and totally make my day! You guys are amazing!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, attempted rape, suicide, and more.

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: M

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind Chapter: Perfect by Hedley**_

**Geeks and M-Gleeks**

"If you let a bully come into your front yard, he'll be on your

porch the next day, and the day after that he'll rape

your wife in your own bed."

-Lyndon B. Johnson

* * *

Hiding the bruise on my wrist was so much easier than I thought. One would think with my over-attentive parents and sudden love for long sleeved shirts and sweaters would raise suspicions, especially considering how much detail my dads seem to notice, but no. I shouldn't have been so surprised though; I've been hiding the bullying for a long time.

School had been in session for around two weeks already, and it wasn't getting any better. I distressingly found out that I shared every single class with at least a handful of my tormentors, Jesse in nearly all of them. The classes I didn't share with Jesse had either Karofsky, Finn, Quinn, Santana, Puck, or Matt in them.

Karofsky was known for his lack of morals when it came to bullying. It didn't matter whether you were male or female, straight or gay, black or white, or freshman or senior. He didn't like you, you were looking at a long line of sugary slushies being thrown your way in the future.

Finn and Quinn were the golden couple of the school, Finn being the star quarterback of the football team, Quinn being the head cheerleader of the Cheerios, and of course the fact that they were both in Glee. Finn was rather dumb and really faded into the background during my Jesse-attacks (as I started to call them in Freshman year). He cheered my tormentors on, but he didn't really pose as an outright threat. Quinn on the other hand was all bitch and even more spice. She knew how to deal out humiliation like giving candy to little kids on Halloween. Unlike Jesse, I've been going to school with her since pre-school. I remember she used to steal my lunch every day and bury it in the playground during recess so I never got to eat lunch (considering how they didn't really cater to vegans there). I was just as spineless back then as I am now, and I was a good enough liar that my dads never found out.

Santana. God, where to even start with her. She was like Quinn, only a lot more vulgar and cruel with her insults (and if I'm being completely honest, she actually belongs in Glee—Quinn doesn't). Whereas Quinn reveled in the physical bullying, such as stealing lunches, slushies, stealing my clothes during gym, and tripping her in the halls, Santana loved the verbal abuse. I really did have to commend her for the amount of nicknames she had managed to come up for me over the years, her favorites being Man Hands and Ru-Paul. Lately though she's taken to pulling on my hair painfully when she passes me and pushing me into other people (you can imagine how unhappy they would be with that fact).

Puck was all talk and no bite. Out of everyone, I'd probably take insults from him over anyone. Aside from the occasional slushie, he mostly just says a few insulting comments referring to my feminine parts and tries to act tough. Our families know each other since we are two of the only Jewish families in Lima, but Puck completely ignores that fact in school. However he does have a decent voice and his guitar playing is pretty good.

Matt was just as bad as Jesse, and on Jesse's good days he was even worse. He wasn't in Glee, and he wasn't the most muscular of the jocks, but he was evil to the core. While Jesse humiliated and tormented for a bit of fun and for his popularity, Matt did it because he believed these people (mainly me) really deserved it all just for existing. He's always pushed the boundaries of verbal and physical bullying, but he's always been reeled in a bit (not that that matters now).

Santana and Matt were in my AP US History class, which was dragging on rather slowly. Don't ask me how they managed to get into the class (or how ANY of these people were in my classes—aren't the bullies always supposed to be, well, dumb?). I started shifting uncomfortably in my seat when I noticed them start to throw glances my way and began whispering to each other. I knew they were planning something, obviously directed at me.

I glanced cursorily at the clock, my heart racing as I realized class would be over in about a minute. I began to quickly plan an escape route to get away from them as soon as the bell rang. I already changed twice today after being slushied by Jesse and Karofsky, and I didn't have a third set of clothes in my locker. I began to quietly slip things into my bag already, and I was positive they realized. I clutched my bag tightly in one hand, the other poised on my desk ready to bolt for the door.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

The bell rang. I slammed my knee against the top of my desk in my haste, but I ignored the pain and quickly walked out the door. I tried to get lost in the throngs of students that were pouring out into the hall, but when you're me, you stick out like a sore thumb.

"Hey, Man Hands!" Santana called out loudly. Heads turned and watched me as I huddled a bit into myself and kept walking with my head down, my feet carrying me quickly towards the most crowded area of the school, and conveniently where the main exit was. If I could only reach those doors, I could run and hide…

I felt a hand roughly grab my shoulder and turn me around. I managed to avoid tripping over myself in time to see someone passing by hand Matt a slushie. I squeezed my eyes shut in preparation for the slushie to hit, but instead I felt Santana pull the neck of my long sleeved white shirt out. It didn't even register in my mind before Matt dumped the entire icy drink down my shirt. I fought back tears as the cold seeped through the material of not only my shirt, but also my white tank top and bra. I heard the laughter around me and waited for them all to clear out like they usually do, but instead I felt another one collide with the back of my shirt and hair. My body physically shook from the freezing cold I felt all over my body, and I realized with disdain that the drink was slowly spreading down my shirt into my underwear and onto my yellow skirt.

"Ha, looks like Berry got her period!" Santana jeered while pointing to what I'm sure was a large red slushie stain on the back of my skirt. Her taunt was juvenile and hurtful, and yet the crowd laughed and cheered at my expense. I opened my eyes only to close them quickly again as I felt a third slushie come in contact with my face. I gasped and squeezed my eyes tighter trying to make sure the dye didn't get into my eyes. Slushie stung like a bitch.

"Sorry I missed out on the fun Berry, I hope this makes up for it." I could just imagine the smirk on Jesse's face as everyone stared at him like he was royalty. Their king. He was their saint, their savior from the ugly and useless Rachel Berry who had stupidly reared her hideous head in their kingdom.

The warning bell rang and people began to clear out, their laughs fading away as they walked to class. I stood there with my eyes still closed very much aware that he was still standing in front of me, smirk still plastered on that face.

"How does it feel Berry?" he asked as he began to circle me. My lips quivered, about to answer the rhetorical question with a smartass answer but refraining from such—it would only cause more damage. He circled me a few more times before stopping directly behind me. He leaned in close to me (but not too close, lest he get some slushie on his perfect clothing) and whispered in my ear.

"How does it feel to be a waste of space on this planet where nobody wants you? Has your birth mother ever sought you out? Have you ever had a friend before? Has anyone ever actually talked to you for more than five seconds without flinching away in _disgust_?" His words were cruel and harsh, firm. I could feel the glare on the back of my head. "Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you. So either crawl back up your crack-head of a mother's womb or drop dead. Save us the trouble."

I managed to hold back the floodgate of tears and cries of emotional pain until I was sure he was gone, his shoes echoing loudly in the halls as he walked away.

* * *

**A/N:** So I'm back bitches, and I'm back better than ever! I have a ton of ideas for St. Berry that I'm determined to post to FF, and I'm super excited because JGroff is back on episode 17 of season 2, which just so happens to be the next episode (which airs in April)! I don't know about you guys, but I'm fucking sick and tired of Quinn, Finn, and Santana. I hate Finchel. I hate Fuinn. And don't even get me started on Mr. Schue. I need St. Berry, and I need it now! Anyways, drop a review with any thoughts, ideas, criticism, love for JGroff, Lea Michele, and St. Berry, or basically anything else. :)

**REVIEW TO MAKE ALL THOSE**

**FINCHEL SHIPPERS REALIZE**

**HOW MUCH OF AN ASS**

**FINN REALLY IS.**

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: First, I want to dedicate this chapter to **michemistic** since their PM to me is the only reason I'm getting this up right now. :) I had this chapter written last week, but there was a tough decision I hate to make that was detrimental to Rachel's character and would have swayed the plot line for her character. But I made the decision, and so now I can finally post this, and I'm starting on the next chapter now. :) And second, thanks so much for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts guys, they're so amazing and really egg me on (no pun intended) to continue on with this story! Third, this chapter is pretty much a filler-chapter with a lot of necessary background information. Next chapter is when all the drama really kicks in and when things get pretty graphic. So have no fear. :) Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: When Jesse St. James, the golden boy of McKinley High, and his goons take things too far, they realize their actions have more affect than they realize. In a whirlwind of emotions and heartbreak, Jesse begins to discover what it feels like to walk in the shoes of Rachel Berry. Rated M for themes of abuse, violence, rape, suicide, and more.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: M

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind Chapter: Adam's Song by Blink-182**_

**Geeks and M-Gleeks**

"I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only

the bully, but the intimidation I felt."

-Robert Cormier

* * *

I hid the shopping bag with my slushied clothes in my bag before opening the door to my house. Slushied clothes would be a big red flag for my dads, so I resorted to doing my own laundry from the age of nine. Satisfied that the evidence of my daily torture was hidden, I opened the door. I waited for the smell of Daddy's famous vegan chili and tacos to reach my nose, a Berry tradition we've kept for every Thursday night for the past five or so years, but I smelt nothing. I was confused until I heard my name being called.

"Rachel, honey, can you come in here please?" my daddy, Hiram, called out from the living room.

"Coming Daddy!" I said, a tight knot forming in my stomach. It took a lot for the Berry family to break tradition, like someone in the family ending up in the hospital or finding out about a death of a family friend or something. I cautiously entered the living room and felt the knot tighten even further.

My Dad, Leroy, was sitting on the couch in the middle of the room, head buried in his hands as he leaned his elbows on his knees. I couldn't read his expression, so I couldn't figure out if it was out of anger, disappointment, or sadness. His posture was tense though, and I was leaning more towards the former.

Daddy was leaning against the ceiling to floor window across the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked outside with a blank expression on his face. He looked relaxed and calm, but that meant nothing.

My dads completed each other in every way—including with their interrogation system. My Dad, although the more overprotective parent, wore his heart on his sleeve (something I seemed to inherit from him apparently) and his emotions were always displayed on his face. If he was upset with you, you knew it. If he was proud of you, you knew it. There was never any guesswork involved, but that wasn't always necessarily a good thing.

Daddy on the other hand was always the more compassionate one. If one of them had to be categorized as the more "motherly" parent, it would definitely be him. He was always in control of his emotions and never overreacted to situations, which is why I knew something was really wrong when I saw him. As a lawyer, he crafted a perfect poker face over time that didn't betray any of his emotions. The fact that whatever happened caused him the need to use it in fear he might overreact with his emotions shook me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked feebly. There was silence for a moment as neither of them moved. "We got a call from your school," Daddy said finally. My stomach dropped.

"Really?" I asked feigning stupidity. "What about? I thought I was doing well in all my classes. Was it one of my teachers?"

"No, it was your vice principal, Mrs. Holsten I think her name is?" Dad said as he finally looked up. His eyes weren't red-rimmed, he hadn't been crying. But I could see bags under his eyes; I could feel the tension rolling off his shoulders. He looked sunken like he had been up for the past three days with no sleep, a fact I knew not to be true.

"Oh?" I asked, faking ignorance. "Why? Am I in trouble?"

Daddy finally moved and let out a sigh. "Why don't you come sit on the couch with us." He walked across the room so he was on the other end of the leather couch, a seat right in between them for me. I slowly walked over and sat down between them, my nails digging into my flesh, my heart racing in fear. _They couldn't know. They couldn't._

"What did she say?" I asked carefully. The two shared a look, and Dad's eyes tightened.

"She said it seems like you've been having troubles socially lately at school," Daddy said. "Is this true?" I hated when he started to go all "lawyer-mode" on me. He was being careful. Cautious. He was gauging his words before he spoke. He wanted to catch me in whatever web of lies I'd already spun.

"I just had a fight with some kid at school, nothing big," I lied. I kept my face perfectly neutral. I didn't like the direction this conversation was going. I couldn't have them find out about school. I couldn't have them find out about Jesse. They'd make me transfer, and I'd have to start this entire process all over again. I can't go through that. It would kill me.

"She said it seemed like they physically hurt you," Dad said bitterly, and I saw the anger seep into his expression. I felt my guilt triple in size. The both of them wanted to protect me. They loved me so much. And all I've been doing is lying to them. Daddy brought a hand up and caressed the back of my head, bringing it down onto his shoulder and kissing my forehead.

"Whatever it is Rachel, you can tell us. We promise."

'_It's not that I don't want to…it's that I can't.'_

"I'm telling you the truth. Some kid thought I purposely bumped into him in the hall and got a little rough, but people pulled him back. Turns out he was just in a bad mood. Ms. Holsten saw me right afterwards and was just concerned," I lied. "That's nice of her that she called to make sure everything was alright though."

I saw my dads exchange a look of relief, and Dad immediately wrapped his arms around me and also planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Thank god. We were so worried, sweetheart," he said affectionately. Daddy grinned and nodded, and the smile on my face was genuine as I was enveloped by the two most important people in my life, and yet the guilt seemed to increase tenfold. I was digging my own grave, and it was just getting deeper and deeper.

"So how was glee practice?" Daddy asked as we got up, the two heading towards the kitchen to start dinner while I followed. I closed my eyes as a fresh wave of guilt crashed into me as they brought up my next lie. Earlier on I, for some reason unknown to me, decided to tell them that even though I didn't have time for friends, I had a group of people I could hang out with in school or outside school if I wanted. In my sophomore year, they started to get suspicious when I was making up all these stories about friends when they never saw me hanging out with anyone after school.

I came home the next day telling them I had recently joined my school's glee club with some of my friends. The look on their faces were so happy, I never had the heart to end the lie by saying I quit glee. Instead every Tuesday and Thursday after school, I went to the music store near my house. It looked rundown and sketchy on the outside, but it was really nice on the inside, and they had a vast music collection. I spent a few hours in there, browsing through music and fiddling around on the piano until it was an appropriate time to show up at home.

"It was good," I said. "We're doing rock this week, so I think I'm going to experiment a little in the hard rock area." I felt a little better knowing I at least wasn't lying with this. It was true that New Directions were doing rock this week. A while back I accidentally overheard their Mr. Schue, New Directions' coach, talking about their assignment that week, and it was pretty interesting. I decided to try out his assignment, and ever since then I've been doing their weekly assignments. Sometimes they're boring and have no relevance, and sometimes they're actually pretty fun. They mainly do the assignments do think of fresh and new ideas for competitions, but I liked to be creative with mine.

"That's interesting, sweetie," Dad said. "It's good that you're broadening your horizons." I smiled at the two of them and grabbed a piece of cucumber my dad was cutting up.

"Thanks," I said. "I think I'm going to go up to my room to start on my homework. Is that okay?" I asked already knowing the answer but desperate to detangle myself from the web that seemed to be growing thicker and thicker by the moment.

"Of course," Dad answered with a laugh. They both smiled at me, and I gave them a smile in return before heading out of the kitchen. I grabbed my bag and headed upstairs. I opened my bag and took out all my schoolbooks, and finally I reached the shopping bag with my stained clothes. I sighed and threw them into the hamper in my closet, reminding myself to do the laundry later tonight after my dads went to sleep. I looked at the books on my bed waiting to be opened. I resigned myself to the fact that my homework had to be done, no matter how easy it was for me, and I went over to my bed and began what was a typical Rachel-Berry-school-night.

* * *

**A/N: **Sooooo, that chapter was kinda lousy. :P And pretty much a filler-ish/just background information. The REAL drama starts in next chapter, I promise! And I already have it started! Soooo…review? :D

**Reviews = LOVE**

**Love = HAPPINESS**

**Happiness = INSPIRATION**

**Inspiration = UPDATE**

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